Pain before Pleasure

Who would want to put pain before pleasure you might ask but many of us actually do it. I’m not talking about anything sexual here, just life in general. Some do it out of necessity, like having to go to work so that they can afford to do what they love. Or others like me, have to take care of daily stuff, like housework, before being able to craft or paint. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and say I’ll put the pleasure before the pain, I’ll paint or craft before I do the housework but then I look at the dirt on the floor and know I won’t have peace of mind until I clean it. Am I OCD you might ask, no I’m just governed by guilt.

I once went AWOL for a week and didn’t cook or clean and just crafted and painted and binge watched my favourite series till late at night. And I slept in, instead of waking up to make my hubby’s coffee and say goodbye to the kids. (Its ironic that since I stopped working to follow my hubby’s job here, I wake up earlier than I used to then when I was working!) Anyway my week of respite didn’t last long as my hubby got upset and called me a “footballers wife”, meaning living the easy life.  He’s since felt bad about what he said and tells me to stay in bed but I’ve felt so guilty ever since that I don’t sleep in unless I’m ill!

I’be been a housewife for 5 years now but I’ve never been able to get used to it. I’ve tried to psyche myself into making housework enjoyable, counting it as gym workout, trying to enjoy the satisfaction of having a clean house, although with 2 dogs and kids, that lasts for about an hour, LOL! My life isn’t even all about housework and kids. I go to the gym, have lunch with my friends, joined the PTA, started making cards and painting, run a book club, have parties, go out with the girls… so yes I lead the life of the Desperate Housewives of the named series!

Why then do I focus all my attention on the one detail in my life that doesn’t make me happy when theres so much more going on in my life? Why do I let that one aspect over shadow everything else I have thats good. I’ve been happy with this life until now, so whats happening?  I guess I’m probably going through my mid life crisis, at 52 I’m due for mine and it’ll pass.

In the meantime, I’m going to get a maid! I’ve felt guilty (that again) getting one since I’m free and physically able to do it. Nevertheless I’ve decided that I shouldn’t keep something in my life that causes me so much pain. I’m going to try and live a life doing only what makes me happy! I’ll be racked by guilt for awhile I’m sure but we should all try and put pleasure before pain when its possible.

These paintings above gave me alot of pleasure and are part of my ongoing learning process with watercolours using Jenna Rainey’s Everyday Watercolor book. The Bird of Paradise is the most complex painting I’ve done so far and for the first time I tried to paint after a photo of a real flower. I used Winsor and Newton’s professional watercolours: Cadmium Orange, Opera Rose, Scarlet Lake, Sap Green and I can’t remember the names of the purples and blues as I have them in cakes.

Thanks for stopping by and reading the ramblings of a spoilt desperate housewife, but I hope you put some pleasure in your life today and do something that makes you happy too!